Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I am in a different mood right now. I am getting a little melancholic. Why? I don’t know.
I am reading a lot about rest and how Jesus took time to go aside on the mountain to pray when people were pressing in. He seems never to be in hurry. I love this, as my life is running to high speed right now. Rest is not my word. Part is because I love action, I love to do things. Part is because I have 3 small boys who are full of energy. Part is because between wiping noses, nursing, cleaning messes, cooking and folding laundry it doesn’t let any time for rest. Part is because we are getting ready for a conference for over 1000 missionaries.

But this is so bad. I need to learn to rest and enjoy every day. I need to stop running through days and get time to sit down and enjoy what is around me. When is the last time I stopped to watch the sunset more than a couple of minutes? Or to look carefully to a flower or a bug? (I have boys so bugs are important in our family)
Yesterday I had that chance to stop through my busy day. I didn’t use it well but it strucked me as I drove home. I went to doctor with Kevin and Nathan. No matter what time I go I will spend on average 2 hours there waiting. As I was there I became quite stressed out about the waiting being surrounded by all those sick kids. Mine are healthy we are there just for the immunizations. So I realized that I could enjoy that rest time where all I need to do is to watch the boys. But I am very stressed and I check my watch a lot and I count how many people I still have in front of me. I started to even calculate if everyone stays inside her office 10 minutes then I still need to be there…. I prayed a little but then I am back to pace that hallway trying to keep Nathan quiet. I am thinking that I need to keep Nathan awake, I need to nurse him soon… I hope he is not starting to cry… Kevin is through his snack and we read his book 3 times already..I need to go home, feed Kevin, put him down for a nap, then I need to go to pick up Ryan from school…  I check my watch again.. and again… So driving home I realized that I could use better that time to rest. I hope next time I will enjoy that time of rest that God is giving me. The problem is that I don’t know how to slow down. I need to learn. So this is my new assignment. I want to do better every time my Father gives me some down time. I don’t need to run all the time.
God brought to my mind a song as a reminder that time is flying by and it never returns.
Did you ever watch Fiddler on the roof? Do you remember the weeding song “sunrise sunset”?
“Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears”

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